He Was Out Of Town, And His Two Friends Were SO FINE.

My friend Heidi and I decided to start a blog about one hit wonders, which never really took off. However I thought it would be sad for my post regarding Los Del Rio’s “Macarena” to simply slide between the sheets of oblivion. So here it is:

It would be outrageous for me to never speak of Los Del Rio’s 1995 hit, Macarena. Although I hated it, the Macarena is definitely the All Time Super One Hit Wonder. When it came out, everyone asked, “who the fuck are Los Del Rio and what are they even doing?” before quickly becoming a Macarena-dancing idiot themselves. In case you were on heroin in 1995-6, or were born after that time, let me refresh your memory: 

Who are Los Del Rio? Well, they are 2 pretty old guys that enjoy watching young firm women of many ethnicities shaking their asses. They seem to only sing the chorus and they also enjoy doing some awkward moves at the mic. That’s probably all there is to know about them, really. Now let us discuss the lyrics of this song;

When I dance they call me Macarena 
And the boys they say that I’m buena 
They all want me, they can’t have me 
So they all come and dance beside me 
Move with me, jam with me 
And if you’re good I’ll take you home with me 

A la tuhuelpa legria Macarena 
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosa buena 
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena

Eeeh, Macarena (A-Hai)  

Now don’t you worry ´bout my boy friend 
The boy who’s name is Nicorino 
I don’t want him, couldn’t stand him 
He was no good so I – hahaaaa 
Now, come on, what was I supposed to do ? 
He was outta town and his two friends were soooo fine 
 
Come and find me, my name is Macarena 
Always at the party, 
‘Cause the chicos think I’m buena 
Come join me, dance with me 
And all your fellows chant hello with me 

If you look at the lyrics carefully, the song is about a superslut who thinks she is pretty hot shit. She also describes the boys in her life as being spineless limerant men who, upon learning that they cannot have her (even though they all want her), settle for simply dancing next to her. She makes promises that she may take one home if he is good, however we know this is a huge lie because her boyfriend Nicorino is out of town that night and she is going to be Eiffel-towered by his two “fine” friends. Then she bangs on once more about how  ”buena” she is and how all the boys want her.

The chorus can be translated as something like:

Give your body happiness Macarena 

Your body is for giving itself joy and good things 

Give your body happiness Macarena 

Hey Macarena

I’m going to go ahead and assume that they are talking about having sex, and more specifically, about being gang-banged by your boyfriends friends when he is out of town. Word to the wise men; be careful when you go on holiday, because your two mates Bazza and Robbo could very well be paying your girlfriend a friendly neighbourhood visit of an evening. Nicorino’s mates weren’t above it, and neither are Bazza and Robbo (especially if your girlfriend is rather buena). So basically the whole song is about a bunch of people who like to use their looks to lead others on, people who happily hook up with their friends’ girlfriends together, and people who cheat on their boyfriend because they consider him to be “no good”.

However, they managed to mask all of this debauchery with a catchy dance!  Soon enough, people all over the world joined in and caught “Macarena fever”. From the elderly,

“there goes my trick knee!”

to bowling alley punks,

This is extremely poor bowling alley etiquette, by the by.

to awkward pubescent girls,

The girl in the middle is having far too much fun.

to hilarious men.

“Watch closely, ladies. This is how we do it in San Fran!”

Even Borimir.

No, one simply does not.

Off you go then!

– Chelle

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