Where The Magic Happens

I was doing a little bit of half-assed research on blogging as a profession today because I’m genuinely interested in how people make money from doing something so simple that they love so much, and I got incredibly sidetracked when I Googled images of bloggers’ workstations. Suffice to say, I am definitely not your typical blogger in that these bloggers all have immaculately tidy, fresh and “inspired” work areas that seem to have been ejaculated directly out of Elle Decor. Here are some examples below;

How clean and disease-free! Aspirations.

The workstation of a sartorialist who uses the local cafe as a workstation more than their chic navy desk. This person will be wearing a used hankerchief, a gym towel and some crocs and still look better than you have ever looked, even on your wedding day. They will be real nonchalant about it because they “had hardly any clean clothes and just threw it on”.

I'm going to assume that this is a tech-review style bloggers workspace.

I’m going to assume that this is a tech bloggers workspace, on account of the lack of fun, and also the occurrence of 2 monitors for doing important techy things.

This person almost definitely writes an indie graphic design blog or some such.

This person almost definitely writes a pseudo-legit graphic design blog and has been to Europe once, citing this holiday often in conversation. Those faux-china ornaments on the desk are going to become more than just an ironic hobby one day.

Home decor blogger that discuss "shabby chic" and "rustic romanticism" on the regular. Spends weekends sanding down old furniture to repaint it dusky pink.

Home decor blogger that discuss “shabby chic” and “rustic romanticism” on the regular. Spends weekends sanding down old furniture to repaint it dusky pink and glue faux plastic Victorian lace to the corners.

This is the space of a very organised art blogger. The kind that enters all the wearable art competitions and always has a sideline "project" on the go which is almost nothing to them, but still bigger and better than anything you've ever done in your life. You feel somewhat like a piece of shit when you read their blog.

This is the space of a very organised art blogger. The kind that enters all the wearable art competitions and always has a sideline “project” on the go which is almost nothing to them, but still bigger and better than anything you’ve ever done in your life. You feel somewhat like a piece of shit when you read their blog.

This is a corporate level blogger, someone who has made a very good profit doing blogging, so much so that they can afford an entire office for it. And see those clothes in the background? They were sent to her for free, by designers that desperately want to be featured in her blog. Upon closer inspection, that's Rachel Zoe. Awkward.

This is a corporate level blogger, someone who has made a very good profit doing blogging, so much so that they can afford an entire office for it. And see those clothes in the background? They were sent to her for free, by designers that desperately want to be featured in her blog. Upon closer inspection, that’s Rachel Zoe. Awkward.

"Don't forget to follow me on Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Etsy, Image Spark and WeHeartIt!"

“Don’t forget to follow me on Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Etsy, Image Spark and WeHeartIt!”

Whereas I’m now going to take you on a tour of the place from whence my ideas spring forth, landing all up in your bidniz. Have you had your tetanus shot? You may need to open the image in a new tab to see the smaller things more clearly if you care about that kind of thing.

It's like a newsagent store, a Cash Converters and a cheap department store all collaborated to create ... me.

It’s like a newsagent store, a Cash Converters and a cheap department store all had an orgy when they were wasted, and the resulting child was me. They don’t like to talk about that night, and their friendship has been strained ever since.

  1. One of Chris’ bikes.
  2. A gym towel that needs to be laundered.
  3. Some Jem and The Holograms stuff that I have just sold on eBay and need to send.
  4. Nick’s skateboard.
  5. My broken smart phone. Not so smart now, are we!?
  6. The latest Cosmopolitan magazine (for I have Cosmopolitan? More Like, Shitmopolitan Part III in the works).
  7. A mirror, because I do my makeup here in the mornings also.
  8. An artists toolbox, where all my art tools live.
  9. Recipes that I ripped out of magazines that need to be put into my “recipes” folder. Yes, me and your great-aunt have that in common.
  10. One of my guitars, kept conveniently close to number 12.
  11. My laptop, purchased for the princely sum of $200. Oy vey!
  12. My USB microphone, which I record music digitally with – which is why there is a guitar nearby.
  13. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
  14. Fitness/Health magazines which I still need to rip the recipes out of.
  15. Headphones, my trusty old Skullcandys that are starting to break down because I stood on them when wasted.
  16. Black roses of the faux variety, which we put there for Halloween and I left because I liked the way they looked against the block glass.
  17. Cheap perfume so I can smell like an old lady.
  18. Glass that had wine in it – empty, obviously.
  19. Rubbish that I was too lazy to get up and put in the bin.
  20. Camera which is never far from my computer.
  21. Passport, in case someone comes in and exclaims that we need to leave the country right away to solve a mystery, because one should never hold up the flow of mystery-solving by doing mundane things such as searching one’s “important documents file” for one’s passport.
  22. Photocopied payslips, necessary for applying for apartments, which we are currently doing.
  23. Nail polish and remover, because I did my nails a few weeks ago. That should go back in the fridge, really.
  24. Red cats-eye glasses that I wore to a 50s themed party, which incidentally look great on me, thankyoiyeverymuch.
  25. My bike helmet, candy pink.
  26. A silver tray of assorted teas, one of which I’m going to have right now!
  27. A woollen hat, which has unnecessarily been there all summer.
  28. Free sex toys that I got at a sales pitch that I attended for work, which I haven’t really bothered looking at properly.
  29. Protein powder. It’s okay, you can bum me out.
  30. Cellophane and wrapping ribbon.
  31. SEGA Lock-On, which I have just sold on eBay and need to post.
  32. Stack of art reference books, notepads etc.
  33. Heart rate monitor box that I need to throw out because I have to break the habit of holding onto boxes of things because they are just extra junk at the end of the day and I’ll never need to put it in its original box.
  34. A “Regretsy” flask containing tequila which I happened upon after our last Halloween party. Is it yours? I have saved the tequila for you if it is.                            

So there you have it, this is my ridiculous workspace which is nothing like your traditional, organised blogger workstation. If you had visions of me writing from a creative and tidy desk under a vaulted ceiling, pausing to mull thoughts over whilst watching a golden labrador bound around on a sunshine-flooded lawn through my vintage rustic French windows (in the trendy part of town of course), then you don’t know me very well and I think you might have the wrong idea about my blog.

Love, Chelle xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 
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4 thoughts on “Where The Magic Happens

    • I eBayed them all, the glitter n gold roadster went for $500!!! The stuff in the pic that I just sold is the absolute last of my collection, why did I not think to offer you any of it? 😦

  1. Jesus, my work station is a crappy ol’ tea stained lap tray with my overheating laptop on it, where I blog from my settee, which is dented from having my not-skinny arse planted in it so much. So glamorous. Yours is like tea at the Ritz in comparison! 😛

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