EDITED TO INCLUDE DISCLAIMER:
I can’t believe I even have to state this, but this story is NOT factual. The photos in this post are NOT the real people. This is a JOKE based on the “Karen Wants Her Twenty Dollars Back” phone call that has gone viral. So could everyone please settle down and stop saying that I am a bad journalist, (because I’m not a journalist at all!) or that I have got the wrong photos!
Recently a video was posted on Youtube entitled “Karen Wants Her Twenty Dollars Back”, where Karen has called a wrong number and left a message on a company’s answering machine. The call starts out politely and escalates into a frenzied barking as Karen discusses the matter of twenty dollars that is yet to be settled between herself and Rachel.
Rachel has had a win on the pokies and has trusted her friends Jade and Dion not to let Karen know of this windfall, however Jade and Dion were not as sincere as they seemed that fateful Friday night at the Stokes Valley Bar, and they have let the cat out of the bag, resulting in a very disgruntled Karen.
Being an investigative journalist, I have indeed done extensive research to bring to you all the exclusive story behind this twenty dollars. No stone has gone unturned and no truths will be spared as I reveal the turn of events that has led Karen to this phone call.
The first Tuesday of November 1998:
It was Melbourne Cup day and The Stokes Valley bar was holding a special Melbourne Cup day event for the punters. This was quite a classy affair as they had laid out free crackers and cold meats and everything, and had set an all day happy hour. Karen (26) was there with her partner at the time Mike, who was a Road Knights associate and quite popular down at the pub. Rachel (20) came with her friend Jade, because she had crossed all her old friends at her last local pub and needed a new local to drink at. Because it was a special occasion, Rachel decided to get on the champers and was not to be seen without a plastic flute of Lindauer in one hand all day. As Jade (18) knew Mike from working together at the freezing works, the four of them ended up sharing a table and chatting away happily. Mike had just gotten his ACC payment and was feeling generous so it wasn’t long before the four of them were downing cans of Woodstock and playing pool and darts into the small hours.
Karen and Rachel discovered that they had a mutual friend, Dion (who was currently in jail) and decided that as soon as he was out, they would set him up with Jade. Jade was a nice girl who was a bit slow, but nonetheless a very good mother to Shenae, who she had had when she was 16. Karen was also very excited to discover that Rachel was into Guns n Roses as well, and she invited Rachel to come over the next day for a coffee and smokes on the back porch, which led to a firm friendship between the two. They had daughters around the same age who also became friends growing up.
14 years had passed. Karen was now 40 and Rachel was 34. Karen was now a grandmother, as her daughter Justice had recently given birth to a son, Jayden. Rachel’s daughter Kristal had been in a bit of trouble with the cops for making threatening phone calls to her ex and his new girlfriend, and Rachel was trying hard to keep her out of trouble.
On a Thursday night, Karen and Rachel decided that they would head down to the Stokes bar to have a $7.95 roast dinner followed by the Thursday night karaoke, which was now run by Dion, who had cleaned up his act considerably and had become a good partner to Jade and a stable dad to Shenae.
Rachel was expecting her WINZ payment to clear this evening, and so they went to the pub in search of a good time. Karen was in a great mood because her child support payment from Justice’s father had just come through and she was wearing her new boots and her lucky hoop earrings, and as their table began to fill with empty bourbon cans, Rachel surprised Karen by getting up and singing “Loyal” as an ode to their friendship. Karen was touched by this and later on they decided to go and have a flutter on the pokies. Rachel’s WINZ payment hadn’t yet come through, and Karen was still feeling flush from her child support payment, so she agreed to lend Rachel $20 so that she could play the pokies (because the jackpot was really high and they thought they were in with a chance of winning it). Rachel promised to pay her back as soon as the WINZ payment cleared. Neither of them won anything on the pokies and they went home in a bit of a bad mood because the bourbon had wore off a little and Karen realised that she had spent more than she could really afford to on the pokies, which sobered her up considerably.
It’s been WELL over three months since Karen lent Rachel that $20, and Rachel still hasn’t paid it back. Each time Karen asked for it, there was always an excuse. Rachel’s daughter Kristal stole her purse so she was broke, or Rachel was in a fight with WINZ because they wouldn’t pay her until she did the right form or Rachel had left her wallet at home. Rachel began avoiding Karen and stopped returning her calls. She thought that like Baycorp, if she ignored it, it might go away. Meanwhile Rachel had been having problems of her own. She had fallen in love with a cool chick named Coral, and they had moved in together, until one night Rachel came home to find Coral in bed with a random guy from the pub. By this point, Kristal was well and truly out of control, and was addicted to bath salts. Rachel just didn’t know what to do anymore.
Rachel kicked Coral out and was feeling really down about things, so she went to the Stokes bar to see if she could turn her luck around on the pokies. Amazingly, she did! Rachel won the jackpot, which was just over $600!! She was having a bourbon in the smoking area and mentally spending her win on stuff from The Warehouse when Jade and Dion showed up. She excitedly told them about her good fortune, but hastily asked them in a hushed voice not to let Karen know about the win because of the $20 that she still owed her. Thinking it would sweeten the deal, she bought them each a watermelon flavoured Vodka Cruiser in exchange for their silence. Jade suggested that Rachel just pay the $20 back to Karen in good faith, after all it wouldn’t put much of a dent in her $600. However Rachel figured that she deserved this money because she has had a hard life, and that Karen would be okay without the $20 and would forget about it.
What Rachel didn’t count on though, was Jade and Dion letting the cat out of the bag. So now Karen knows that Rachel has come into some money, and still won’t pay her back. Irate voicemail messages are just the beginning, and we may never know how this feud ends.
Love, Chelle xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo