“Imma Be”

Having just watched 8 Mile, I feel as though I can do anything or be anyone I wanna be. Here are some examples of things that I actually was “going to be” at any given point in time:

1. A pharmacist. This decision was made when I was 22 and deciding to go back to uni – I wanted to be able to make drugs for my own enjoyment, but a quick reality check in my lack of high school chemistry meant that this was not to be.

It would have taken me places.

It would have taken me places.

2. A rapper. Unfortunately when I try to rap it sounds like a bunch of drunk Maoris trying to order McDonalds really fast at the drive-thru. I had to accept that no matter how much I wanted to “spit venom”, I sounded more like Hank Hill than Lauryn Hill.

I even wore headphones on the bus and everything.

I even wore headphones on the bus and everything.

3. A singer/songwriter. My friend Heidi and I used to think we were quite good, to the point that we took an All Saints song and just made it fit into an easy 4 chord progression and changed the melody a bit. We had harmonies and everything and we recorded ourselves singing it with our guitars using a transonic cassette tape recorder. It was going to be our debut single and we were really proud of it. In hindsight, that’s actually plagiarism and we were so much better than that.

This music collaboration that never happened is probably my only regret.

This music collaboration that never happened is probably my only regret.

4. A museum curator. This one I actually got quite close to by doing something about it (studying classical studies and archaeology at uni). I’ve never seen a museum curator covered in tattoos yet, nor have I seen one under the age of dickity-nine. Anyway that dream kind of drifted away from me and died a watery grave after I realised that the amount of lecture-wagging and exam-cramming meant that I literally forgot EVERYTHING within a fortnight after exams, and would be laughed out of the field by ACTUAL academics should I pursue this career.

5. A tattoo artist (well duh, everyone knows this because that is what my blog was about originally). With tattooing, that dream didn’t really “die”, it just isn’t going to fit into my life plan and therefore would be a waste of a couple of years of unpaid apprenticing when really saving money is key for me right now.

6. A fashion designer. I spent about a month telling myself that I could be a really rad fashion designer and looked into design at Polytech to start me on my way. Never mind that the only creations I ever made of note were Halloween costumes made out of black garbage bags. Anyway, I decided in the end not to do it because I hate sewing and do not want to learn, and also because I didn’t want to do the work, I just wanted the private jets, the cocaine and the New York loft.

IT'S CALLED TRASHION, OK?!

IT’S CALLED TRASHION, OK?!

7. A writer. Well I guess I’m kind of a writer, if you count some good Facebook statuses and a blog that I only update twice a month. Though I do have that book in the works about time-travelling ecstasy dealers, so you never know – this dream could be a thing one day haha.

8. A lawyer. Unfortunately when I was 13, my English and French teacher told my mum that I’d make an excellent lawyer. I’m pretty sure that this was just her polite way of saying that I talked a lot in class or was a compulsive liar, but my mum gripped this idea tighter than a bogan with an AirAsia plane ticket, and I did a year of law school. It was really boring, full of pretentious fucks that thought they were the next Erin Brokovich, and I don’t recommend it to anyone.

9. A hairdresser or makeup artist, though I’m sure most teenage girls were “going to be that” at some stage. I could have been the next big thing, you know. I still do my own hair and you can tell because it always looks cheap and nasty, haha.

10. A rally car co-driver (navigator). Seriously, you guys. I was drawn to the idea of navigating rather than driving because I have a good head for maths, logic and judgement, and excellent retentive memory for details. So I tried to hook up with the local rally club and was basically told that as a female they wouldn’t let me in unless my father or brother were in the industry. Anyway, I had enough fun in my 1984 Honda Civic pretending to be a rally driver AND navigator, and that was enough for me it seems. I still love playing Colin McRae 2.0 because it reminds me of a time when I was “going to be a co-driver”.

Anyway, it’s 2013, we are colonising Mars, everyone* now has house-robots and everyone can be whoever and whatever they want to be. So who knows what I’m “gonna be” next? And what YOU’RE “gonna be” next? Follow your dreams ploise!

Love, Chelle xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

*people in that Robin Williams movie

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6 thoughts on ““Imma Be”

  1. Mine include: in hobo gang with my brother, a veterinarian, a marine biologist, and a “runaway” model. No one thought to tell me it was actually “runway” until I was in junior high school.

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