….. The words “Logan Park” immediately bring to mind images of dreadlocks, smoking pot, winter solstice, and “old man pants” from op shops.
….. You have never seen a Fire Danger sign pointing to anything above “Low”. You once saw it on “Moderate” and assumed that they had moved it there to scare you into acting with more caution.
….. Your raving years consisted of The Crave and if you were really lucky, The Gathering in Nelson.
….. You fondly remember the glory days of Danyon Loader, and also that time in 1998 when Otago won the NPC.
….. many of your nights out have started in South Dunedin and ended in North Dunedin, and you walked the whole way. Furthermore, you’ve also walked home at 4am to Mornington in 2 degrees celcius weather, because “fuck paying $12 for a taxi!!”
….. You witnessed either the rise or fall of The Outback. You have also known Monkey Bar as “The Mission” and The Ori as “The Last Moa”. You also went to both of these places on a fake ID, or by simply “looking over 18”. You and your friend Heidi went to The Mission when you were 16 and got in without ID by lying to the bouncers that you knew the DJ “Dom Da Bomb”. Once inside, you pretended that you were 2nd year law students to the guys that bought you drinks. Later in life, you started working with “Dom Da Bomb” and confessed your guilty secret. He was totally cool with it though because he felt your underage pain.
….. You know all of the following people: Speedy, Joan Butcher, Fifi, Clappy, and The Tall Man That Walks Everywhere, Sometimes Carrying Bread. You know that Clappy takes song requests and Joan Butcher will do a mean haka, full of NZ pride. You were also really pissed off when you found out that some Auckland student had nicked Speedy’s radio, and your heart almost burst when you heard that the police gave him a new one from their lost and found box.
….. You have witnessed your mum buying some dubious handmade pottery from a boatshed-style craft shop on Portobello Road on your way to the Happy Hens market. You stopped off in Macandrew Bay for ice cream, of course.
….. You have had a camping adventure at one of the following: Tirohanga, Berwick, Camp Armstrong, Camp Iona, Waiora Scout Camp/Whare Flat. There was archery and a confidence course, and you had pancakes made on a billy at least once, and drank imitation Milo every night. At some camps you even got to abseil down a 5m cliff, or go kayaking in the “rapids” of a gentle stream nearby.
….. You played “miniball” at the Dunedin Stadium and always went early so that you could wander around and talk to boys. When you were on the A team at intermediate school, you got to play on the big blue Otago Nuggets court and you felt like a fucking rockstar. Tahuna, Balmacewen and DNI always had the best teams, and the Otago Nuggets Basketball Camp was the bomb.
….. Even if you didn’t go to Tainui, you or your parents have heard through the grapevine at some stage that Ruth Harley is Dunedin’s most amazing teacher. If you were lucky enough to have her as a teacher, she remains at the top of your all-time influential teachers list, even though you were only about 7 years old when you were in her class. You sometimes feel a little guilty when you write this blog because it is so full of cussin’ and you wonder whether Miss Harley might be a little (or a lot) disappointed if she ever read it.
….. You had extremely mixed feelings about the film “Out Of The Blue” because you couldn’t stop wondering …. “too soon”?
….. You’ve had your photo in the ODT at least once, usually as part of some school event. Your mum cut it out (even though you are barely visible amongst 100 other students in the overly-pixelated greyscale photo) and proudly displayed it on the fridge for a few weeks, before lovingly tucking it into a scrapbook. Your rational adult mind tells you that “happening to attend school” on the day that they photographed everyone in the new outdoor classroom is hardly an achievement, and you now find it hilarious that your mum had to resort to using stuff like this to fill your scrapbook because you weren’t a cricket or soccer star like your over-achieving brother.
….. The ODT’s “Free Ads For Kids” in the school holidays were the bomb and you indulged in many a Sega game trade and sold vast amounts of Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley High books in this black market. You also bought up large on Goosebumps books, good times.
….. You’ve been to a “party at Tony Browns” and are also aware that “House Of Pain” is not just an Irish-American hip-hop group. You also understand what a “House Of Taine” is, and have always thought that the guy singing the Otago Highlanders song sounds like the guy that sings the Team America song.
….. Speaking of rugby, you had at least 1 Otago rugby player teaching or working at one of your schools in your time. Kids totally harrassed him for an autograph and solo mums looked forward to parent-teacher nights.
….. You always considered Oamaru to be ages away, but then once you moved overseas, you realised that the drive to your current job is equivalent to the drive to Oamaru. You realise that you never would have driven from Dunedin to Oamaru every day for work and you wonder when your code of ethics started sliding so sneakily. Thus begins you warily questioning the universe and you reach for the bong, feeling overwhelmed.
….. You know what its like to miss all of the good concerts and be treated to only the shit ones. Dunedin missed out on Tool, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pantera, Sublime and Roger Waters (just to name a small few) but was consoled with Pink, Good Charlotte and The Spiced Girls – A Spice Girls Tribute. The only bone Dunedin ever got thrown was Ben Harper in 2003, and Elton John with the new stadium, and that was only to make the rate-payers stop throwing their toys over the new arena.
Still, I miss Dunedin and it isn’t like Perth gets all the good bands either!!
Love, Chelle xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo