Yesterday I saw American Pie: The Reunion, and not only was it a boring, misogynistic and predictable movie, it also drew my attention to the absurdity in which the way relationships are always shown in film and TV. The worrying thing is that many people I have known in my life have seemed to mirror this ridiculous behaviour in their own relationships. So many people are assuming that it is normal to have the kinds of relationships that are shown in movies, and they think that the accompanying drama is also necessary, and that it is normal to fight a lot. I’m sure everyone has heard the notion that it is healthy to argue, but it doesn’t mean that its normal to argue regularly, as so many couples seem to do these days. By regularly, I mean arguing more than once every couple of months.
Anyway, enough about that – back to the movie. As many will know, the married Jim and Michelle are the main characters in the film, and they go back to East Great Falls to celebrate their 10 year high school reunion. MAJOR Spoiler Alert: Kara is the girl next door that Jim used to babysit, and she is all grown up now, to the point where Jim is checking her out and has no idea who she is at first. Kara then develops an attraction to Jim and asks him to go to her 18th birthday party, which he doesn’t intend on going to. The next night, Jim and the gang (except Michelle who is at home with their baby) head to the beach for old times sake, and lo and behold, they stumble upon Kara’s 18th birthday party anyway. Kara is really wasted and asks Jim to drive her home in her car because her boyfriend never showed up, and although Jim doesn’t want to be alone with her, she guilts him into it by telling him that it’s not responsible to let her drive drunk. So he drives her home and in the car she throws her dress out the window and tells him that she wants him to be her first. Jim is awkwardly trying to drive and get her to wear something, when he loses sight of where he is going and nearly hits a tree. As he brakes, Kara falls forward into his lap and passes out in a prime BJ position. Then as Jim is trying to wake her up, the Asian MILF dude shows up in his car and starts talking to Jim through the window. Of course Kara now wakes up and starts to raise her head. (I know that this is extremely long-winded, but I promise you, I do have a point to make and I will get there). Jim pushes her head back down because he obviously doesn’t want the MILF guy to know that it is someone apart from Michelle in the car, and insinuates to MILF guy that Michelle is giving him vehicular gobby. He then has to get Kara home (without her clothes as she threw them out the window earlier) and into her bedroom whilst not letting her parents find out, and then back home to Michelle. Of course he manages to do all of this in that usual predictable American Pie way.
Herein lies my anger. Instead of telling Michelle, Jim doesn’t say a word, and instead lies about his night. At this point in the film, I leaned over to Chris and whispered sagely “I bet that fucking MILF guy is going to hit Michelle up about the car BJ when he next sees her, this movie is so predictable”. Well, I wasn’t wrong and Michelle and Jim had a huge ass fight, because obviously it looked 100 times worse than what it was. I don’t understand why he couldn’t have just told Michelle in the first place, and if not, then why the fuck are they married to each other? The message that this seems to give is, “it’s fine to lie to your partner, ESPECIALLY if you are completely innocent and have nothing to hide, because you will end up having a big argument about it and she will storm off and ignore you for awhile, but its okay because without even actually discussing it, she will turn up at the reunion and dance with you and then fuck you in the band practice room anyway”.
Is your partner not also supposed to be one of your closest friends? In which case, they would be having a laugh about it with you. I couldn’t imagine not telling Chris about something like that, it’s so retarded. I do know many people that tell me not to tell their partners about what they get up to at stag dos and on weekends and stuff, all of which is COMPLETELY harmless and innocent. For the record, if you are a dude at your friends stag do, and there is some sort of stripper/veggie show etc, you have done NOTHING WRONG and should be honest. Looking at a stripper that you didn’t even hire yourself is not the same as meeting another girl, becoming emotionally attached and then hooking up with her. You should tell your girlfriend about your crazy nights out with friends.
Why? Because if you can’t even tell your girlfriend about a hilarious stag do, then I hate to be the brutually honest bitch here, but you shouldn’t be together, end of story. Allow me to repeat this more clearly: If you feel that you cannot even tell your partner about something that happened in your everyday life that has nothing to do with your relationship, then you should question what you are getting out of this relationship.
I also knew a girl that regularly smoked pot, who would hide it from her boyfriend. She said she was unable to quit smoking pot as it was a big part of her life, and yet she was happy to be with someone that didn’t approve of her lifestyle. How does that even work? How many people lie to partners and compromise themselves and their beliefs for the sake of being with another person?
There is a mass consensus that relationships are hard work. This is bullshit! If you are truly happy and with the right person for you, then it should be 100% EASY. Yes, the occasional disagreement is normal, but I guarantee that if you are with the right person, you will both move on from it pretty quickly and it won’t get dredged up again in the future. The “hard work” that people seem to think completes a relationship is what they expect because in mainstream media, relationships are all shown as being overly dramatic, and full of lies. The plot of “boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy wins girl back” is ingrained as being normal to so many people, when in reality, it should be “boy meets girl, boy gets girl, girl and boy are happy”. But of course that formula doesn’t sell movies.
My last observation is that many couples don’t treat each other very nicely at all. If you love someone, then you should be treating them with the respect, joy and courtesy that you would show to your best friends. Too many people seem to take their partner as being someone that they can get away with acting shitty towards. So often, females decide that they need a bit of drama, and act all unhappy, expecting their boyfriend to give them attention and try to find out whats wrong. If the guy asks whether they are ok, it will be met with an icy “I’m fine”, and so the guy goes about his own business, while the girl gets madder and madder that the guy isn’t reading her mind or fawning all over her trying to cheer her up. At no point did the boyfriend do anything to warrant this, except maybe not picking his towel up off the floor 3 days ago, and he has no idea why his girlfriend is being a bitch, because, y’know … she’s being a dick and doesn’t really have a good reason for it. I would stake money on the fact that that girl NEVER pulls the same shit on her girlfriends, so why does she assume its acceptable to treat the person that she is supposed to love that way?
Ok, this post has definitely been long and ranty enough. In summary; find someone that you bloody well enjoy being with. Use my golden rule. If you are regularly unhappy with your partner once a week or more, then do yourselves both a favour and actually talk to them about why, instead of ruining your own life being miserable. Conversely, if they aren’t open to communication, then why are you even still with them? You only have yourself to blame if you are continually unhappy, and only you can improve your situation.
Love, Chelle xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo