Left My Marmite Factory Outside The Dairy …. Nek Minnit …..

For those of you who are from NZ and Australia, the news of NZ running out of Marmite is no doubt old hat. For those of you who don’t know what Marmite is, it is best described as axle grease with salt. It’s a yeast spread (hold the Rosie O’Donnell-related jokes until the end, please) and is Vegemite’s kiwi counterpart. It’s also made in the UK but in the same way that Cadbury chocolate is – not as good as back home.

So here we are in 2012 and the kiwis are all outraged over the fact that the country is unable to produce Marmite, due to a forced closure of the Marmite factory after the Christchurch earthquake. Special news bulletins have urged viewers to ration their Marmite, by offering thoughtful suggestions such as only using Marmite once a day, or only using it on toast as it spreads easier when warm (again, please hold all Rosie O’Donnell-related wisecracks until the end).

It's okay, Rosie. I also object.

Numerous trademe.co.nz auctions for Marmite have cropped up, with hilarious descriptions such as “only one knife full missing” (corroborated by pictures, below).

Nobody bought Nek Minute's "Limited Edition Nek Minute Marmite" which proudly had no butter contamination.

One dude has sold 1.2kg of Marmite for $205.

This is what we call an "economic opportunist" (that is, a cunt).

That’s around 15-20 hours of labour for the average New Zealander. Would you work an extra 15-20 hours at your job to ensure that you survived 2 months without your favourite original yeast spread? I wouldn’t!

I don’t even know why I am writing about this, but it feels like something I should write about, being a kiwi and a “current events” blogger (not that I’ve ever really blogged about any events that have been current before). I don’t understand why it is such a big deal, seeing as to me, Marmite and Vegemite are pretty much interchangeable, much like vanilla and french vanilla ice-cream. Sure, everyone prefers one over the other, but in the end you’d easily eat either in a pinch.

Not only is it strange that people are paying 20 times the regular price for Marmite at auction, but Sanitarium have advised that production will start again in the next couple of months, so people are only going to be unable to buy Marmite for about 2-3 months. Think about how long a jar of Vegemite or Marmite lasts – fucking ages! I usually have one of the small ones on the go for around 6 months! So the people who already have Marmite in their cupboards probably wouldn’t even need to worry anyway! The ones who probably will worry a bit is the bakeries that sell cheese and Marmite scrolls, but even they can switch to Vegemite for a couple of months.

Settle down, New Zealand its just a yeasty breakfast spread, and your “Marmageddon” is making us an international joke at the moment!

Love, Chelle xxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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