I Still ….. Am Not An Adult

– I still … haven’t done my last 2 years of taxes. I think I did 2010 via eTax, and then owed money and so I got scared and deleted eTax and pretended it would go away. I’m pretty sure I must have done it wrong though, because all of my friends got money back and I’m not much different to them. It’s not like I’m some sort of businessman or anything. Now I have to do 2011’s and I’m worried I will owe money this year as well. In fact, I will happily pay anybody who is savvy to do my last 2 tax returns for me. Any Perth volunteers? I believe I have the correct “documents” ie “group certificates”. I’m not kidding either – will somebody please do my tax returns for me?

The collector in me wants to say "keep them mint in original packaging" ...

– I still … don’t know how to make a real soup, using the oven. I’m not too proud to use little microwave soups.

Never too proud.

– I still … get into my pyjamas as soon as I get home from work. If I don’t have to go anywhere, I will wear them all day. In fact, I’m wearing them now!

No you are not mistaken - that IS bleach all over my singlet. What of it?

– I still … like getting intoxicated, when will I grow out of that? I still get excited about taking drugs getting drunk.

–  I still … draw on furniture, and every single sticker that I get “has” to go on something – usually my desk. There are 4 “Beyond Skate” stickers on there, and I haven’t even been on a skateboard in 12 years. What a fraud.

Even the bumper sticker that I was too much of a wuss to put on my car, lest I get pulled up and caught "possessing".

– I still … haven’t got the knack of correctly saving loose change – the white one is for notes and gold coins, the blue one is for silver coins. Currently the blue one has 50c and the white one has $62, but only because I got the guilts yesterday and put $62 in there. Don’t worry, I’ll be raiding that all back out soon because there’s still one week until payday.

50c. What a joke! Y U so thrifty, Chelle?

– I still … have Pikachu slippers, but because of the damn Australian heat, hardly ever get to wear them!

Because I can't catch em all barefoot.

– I still … steal cocktail toys from bars and bring them home. There are so many more than those hiding in drawers, too. I unashamedly  get my boyfriend to put them in his pockets if I didn’t bring a handbag. Sometimes I act all sophisticated at home and mix a wee Kahlua and milk with a tiki stirrer.

Special thanks must go to Hula Bula Bar and Devilles Pad, without which I may never have discovered the joys of nicking silly drinks accessories.

– I still … don’t have adult things like bills and car registration forms on my fridge. Instead, there is a Metal Gear Solid Snake shopping list and a couple of postcards which aren’t even mine. *hangs head sadly*.

Fridges aren't exempt from my stickering, either.

– I still … consider 2 candles and a scale model of the Empire State Building to be appropriate outdoor decor. I like to think we have “eclectic” taste. Not really … I don’t even know how that model came to be on the outside table, but I’m too lazy to move it.

I like to call it "Shabby Chic".

– I still … haven’t hung these towels out, and it’s been 2 days. Now I have to wash them again.

Because, I CBF.

– I still … don’t really own any “novels” … most of that bookcase is tattoo magazines and dinosaur figurines, and pretty art books containing mostly pictures. There are a few music autobiographies, but hardly any Dickens or Shakespeare.

... and porn.

– I still … have limited freezer contents – microwave vegetables, ice cream, frozen berries, and vodka. They are all good in emergencies. 

(Obvs).

– I still … don’t care for having a “garden”.

Love, Chelle xoxoxoxooxoxox

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