It’s that time of year again, whereby people make such nice comments about myself and my writing and things, that I start worrying that I am a fraud and that people might have the wrong idea of me. So, here are a few more embarrassing things about myself to clear those crazy rumours about me being in any way “cool”.
1. I used to sing Sweet Child Of Mine by Guns n Roses at karaoke so often, that after 4 years away from home I still remember the song number for it at Vivace, Dunedin’s karaoke bar. It’s 7611.
2. I have started a Dungeons and Dragons group with some chums, and I am an Eladrin Sorcerer named Lady Magella Everdawn. I am extremely excited about this, possibly more for the role playing than anything else.
3. I have been a plus-1 to a friends work dinner, with learned medical professionals that I don’t really know, and ended the night by doing shots of dessert wine with my friend, when everybody else was politely sipping coffees. It sounds weird, but I harbour no shame about this evening, and the learned people seemed not to mind too much. To be honest, there was a lady there with inexcusably wiggly drawn-on eyebrows so I am hoping that my misdemeanours seemed small in comparison.
4. I really enjoy the Biggest Loser, and often eat dinner while I watch it, and then feel *thinner* for having watched it, because I feel like I was there doing the workouts with them. Obviously, I actually get fatter doing this, but it makes me *feel* thin. I also get this feeling from reading Womens Health/Exercise magazines.
5. I once plagiarised an entire book for story-writing in primary school. It was called “The Patchwork Cat” and I was about 8 years old. I went to the school library and found a book that seemed fairly unknown, and kept going back to write a few pages at a time. It turned out that the book was actually quite long, even for a picture book, and I used up almost an entire exercise book to write it. it was also quite well-known. Oops.
6. I love places like Red Dot, Reject Shop $2 Shop etc. Nothing gets me more excited than the thought of buying cheap practical things like cutlery dish stands that I can use for paintbrushes and pencils, cheap socks, or cheap “storage solutions”. I will trawl those aisles for hours and then come home with big bags of stuff, totalling something paltry like $30.
7. I compare myself to other people on Facebook all the time. I often log off at night feeling a little bit sad because everybody else’s life seems so much cooler and more exciting than mine. I sometimes make a half-hearted attempt to do something “out of the ordinary”, such as going to the museum, to make myself feel like I’m living it up as much as my Facebook counterparts.
8. I kind of believe in horoscopes – but only if they say nice things that motivate me or make me feel safe.
9. This photo. Braided hair, floral shorts, “Bad Girl” singlet, Spice Girl shoes …. If Mums bumbag and Dads singlet didn’t give it away, then yes, you guessed right. We are in Bali being bogan tourists.
10. I once thought it might be possible to begin a quest for the Holy Grail online. I pored through dozens of sites honestly believing that I would work out some clue that nobody else had found, and ultimately unlock the secret of the Grails whereabouts. I never did find that Grail.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!
Love, Chelle xoxoxooxoxoxoxox