An A-Z of Shit That I Hoard

A for An Introduction to this post. I have a big desk in my art room where I keep all of my random stuff. There are many treasures here in my desk, and they are basically things that I know I would regret throwing out. So I keep them all packed away, safe in my desk and always at arms reach whenever I am sitting here drawing, or on the computer. So behold as I present to you, a Whole Bunch of My Favourite Junk!!

B for Brownie Starflash Camera. I bought this at a garage sale back in the day whilst not sober, and have never regretted it for a second. All I know about this model is that the line of blue models was introduced in 1958 and discontinued 1962. It even came to me with its original box!

I don't think it still works, but its pretty anyway.

C for Comic Books – assorted. I am always on the hunt for any with covers done by Basil Gogos.

Gogos' first ever Filmland cover

D for Definitive Set of 88 Back to the Future II trading Cards and 11 Stickers. I could never part with these.

When my card collection hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit.

E for Excavation Kit – because why let all my archaeological lab skills go to waste?

I'm saving this one for when Sam Neill is next in the neighbourhood

F for Full House trading cards, and also a full set of Family Matters cards, and Perfect Strangers cards. Yussssssssssss.

"I'll trade you 2 Kimmy Gibblers for your Danny Tanner!"

G for Glamorous jewellery that I bought about 6 months ago to send to some lovely ladies in NZ (you know who you are) and still have not yet sent.

"Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"

H for Heidi’s 5th Form School Diary, featuring pages full of personal jokes between two hearty chums (Heidi and I), and some old exam marks. See “P” for another extract from this fine artefact.

Of course History was my top mark - I had a crush on Mr. Roy forevermore

I for Insurance Company Mail, unopened. I got this about a year ago and am quite sure I have no insurance for anything, and nothing from AAMI, so I kept it but never opened it. Maybe I will someday.


J for Jem and the Holograms 1980s toys and merchandise, which I started collecting about 2 years ago. I actually have sold a lot of my collection, but will begin increasing it once I buy my first house and can actually display my pieces.

Be whisked away into a pink sunset with the gang

K for Kiefer Sutherlands character in The Lost Boys – David, a figurine I bought from Empire Toys. I love that movie.

Way cooler than the Twilight fags

L for Lock On, made by Sega in the early 90s. God I loved this game, and my sets are in working order.

"Bon. James Bon."

M for Mysterious Skull – I uncovered this on a series of digs in the Pyrenees in the late 1980s.

I am one of the top forensic anthropologists in the world and I often help the bumbling FBI on cases involving bones.

N for NZ limited issue mint Lord of the Rings $1 Coin – my Granny got me this, and I love it. I guess you could say that it is my Precious.


O for Oarsome (obviously). 

P for Popstars – Bardot drawing from Heidi’s 5th form diary – Because we loved that show, and loved bumming out Bardot.

"Our love could be deep as the ocean". Pure lyrical genius right there.

Q for Quaint Little Wooden Box – perfect for holding small perishables.

Perfect for storing preciouses in.

R for Really Comprehensive 1 Hit Wonder List – (2 sided page) – this took months of loving determination for Heidi and I to compile.

It was always agreed that Macarena was the Ultimate One Hit Wonder.

S for Sega Master System II – Still in perfect working order, still frustrating me with my lack of skill in Alex Kidd.

Don't pretend like you don't know about "Janken"

T for The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, 1997 Harper Collins hardback editions, illustrated and also signed personally by Alan Lee, who also designed the sets for The Lord of The Rings films. My Aunty got me these and they are so beautiful! Its a bit of a cheat because they are actually in a box of my stuff at Grannys, but like the One Ring, are always looking to get back to their master.

Due to the frustrating lack of help from Google Images, I can only include a picture of The Hobbit.

U for University of Otago student card belonging to Alysia Harper, Year 2007. Does this mean that she has mine??

I might look into identity fraud while I have her ID in my possession.

V for Vintage Calendars (1976 and 1977) of Hilda, the first ever chubby calendar pin up girl. These calendars were by Duane Bryers and are in high demand. I was lucky to find the two that I have and they are so cute!

She's always gettin' into mischief and breaking swings and such.

W for Wristwatch that Marty McFly wore in Back to the Future – Casio. I never wear it, but like to look at it from time to time.

The distant future, the year 2000.

X for Xylophone (X is always a free pass, everybody knows this).

And how!

Y for Your mum, she is tucked away neatly in my wall safe. No picture available as she is too ugly.

Z for Zany Anime Tin – I got this ages ago and I keep all of my jewellery in it, nice and out of the way because I never actually wear jewellery.

She appears to have been injured in the eye, perhaps by a penis. Or possibly a tentacle.

So be nice to me and I might bequeath you some of my treasure.

Love, Chelle xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox

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