Because I sometimes waste hours just daydreaming about it

This is what I would do if I “won big” and got blessed with fat stacks of mad money.

1. Buy this house and furnish it with these.

The doorbell sound will be "Intermission" by Tool. And I wouldn't answer the door until the full track had played.

2. Write a list of my die-hard allies and pay off any debt that they owe (because money worries are too bullshit to be letting my friends unnecessarily struggle). If they had no debt, then I would purchase them something that would change their life in some way.

UNLEASH THIS, TONY!!!! *unzips fly*

3. Write a list of charities I deem extremely worthy and give unto them muchos pesos.

With a focus on organisations that aim to assist young ladies with finance management throughout their young and supple uni years.

4. Quit my job, obviously.

5. Spend 6 months drawing solidly every day to finish a rad portfolio.

"Lonely Iris in Gattica" 2012.

6. Spend all day every day trying to get a tattooing apprenticeship until I get one.

7. Buy an apartment close to the studio that I apprenticed at so that I could void any commute to work during the week.

8. Buy a random apartment outright and then organise a property manager and rent it out as a form of regular income, for emergencies.

Close to Otago Uni, so I can collect fire insurance payouts from time to time.

9. Open a happy foster home for unwanted animals so that instead of going to the SPCA and getting put down if unclaimed after x weeks, they can have happy lives until people come to take them to loving homes.

Oh, the fun they will have!!!!

10. Get the dental work done that I’ve been putting off (I usually wait until it causes pain before forking out that kind of money)

11. In my manor, have a secret room built that is opened by pulling a book out from the bookcase.

Because, "step into my mysterious hidden chamber" sounds so much sexier.

Yes, this stuff is mostly superficial shit, but to be honest, there’s not that many saint-like people who wouldn’t splurge a bit given the chance. Would money change me? Probably not. I’d still be working full-time, provided I got a tattooing apprenticeship. I wouldn’t work unless it was related to tattooing though, because what’s the fucking point? If every good tattoo artist under the sun labelled me totally unfit for tattooing, and it was determined that I could never be a tattoo artist, then I would use my time to help other people out for free. I’d hate to work for some person who is getting rich off my efforts if I didn’t have to, when my time would be better spent helping someone that genuinely needed it.

Maybe I could go all Cate Blanchett and do something about carbon footprints and being pale, or perhaps I could run a drop-in centre for runaways/junkies to have somewhere safe to sleep. I could spend heaps of time abroad helping out in places in crisis.


What would the average person do if they won lots of money? I just realised that I didn’t include “buying a *insert random vintage/high performance model in here* car”. To be honest, I don’t need a new car, I have my free car that mum gave me, and it goes fine the way it is. Maybe I would shell out for some better speakers and a new stereo so that I wouldn’t have to run an mp3 player through a cord attached to a cassette tape in the tape deck, though.

Could probably tend to that indicator, also.

Anyway, happy “fuckin Straya Day, cunts” and all that stuff, too.

Love, Chelle xoxoxoxoxooxxoxoxoxoxoxoox

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