More retarded parents whingeing about shit instead of sucking it up and actually being parents for a change.

This is a post I meant to write about 3 weeks ago when a helpful filly sent me a link to a gossip article, and I was only reminded to do it when another friend sent a link for another article, this one from a kiwi news site. So here is my look at the new Tokidoki collectors edition Barbie doll featuring pink hair and tattoos, and the wave of controversy ensuing.

Many parents have gotten up on their self-appointed “I’m on the PTA and have to ruin my childs life by being a dick” horses, and have complained about the new collectors Barbie, specifically because she has pink hair and tattoos. Oh noes! Firstly, please note that I bolded the words “collectors edition” earlier, as this doll is intended to be for serious adult Barbie collectors. This doll is not even available in stores anymore – it apparently sold out at $60 a pop in a matter of hours, only to hit eBay for a cool $1000. See where I’m going with this? Not only will your child never even see this doll at a tantalising eye level in the toy store, but they will never even clutch one in their horrid little hand. Unless you are a collector that doesn’t mind owning dolls that aren’t in mint condish. As a part-time vintage doll collector, I am definitely qualified to give my opinion on this. I wouldn’t even let a child play with my unboxed Jem dolls – so how the fuck is your child going to get anywhere near the Tokidoki Barbie?

In my day, we were damn grateful just to have a troll on the end of our pencil. And our folks didn't compain about the nudity cos they had better things to do, like letting us drink out of the garden hose and play on a trampoline without safety mats. Yeah, that's right. Without safety mats.

We have firmly established that this is not a doll for children – therefore a parent complaining about this is similar to someone having a cry because an R18 film has swearing or nudity in it. IT’S SUPPOSED TO, DUMBASS. Never mind the fact that parents shouldn’t be complaining about an adult product. Even if this doll were marketed towards children, it’s still something that parents shouldn’t be getting all “up in arms” over. The problem that many parents have with this doll is that they believe it will make their child want to get pink hair and tattoos. Holy shit – imagine it, your daughter getting pink hair and tattoos at age 10! Because every tattoo studio is dying to tattoo kids under 18, and unless your child has a massive disposable income for a hefty hairdresser bill, s/he ain’t never getting that mousy brown hair anywhere near “flamingo pink” – believe me, I’ve tried. You need to bleach yo hair about 8 times before you can even sidle up to the Fudge Paintbox and whistle suggestively at it. The point is, even if your child wanted to, they do not have the means to make changes like that to their look. Worried that it might influence them for later in life? Shit, folks – I had a couple of GI Joes. Did I get a sex change or join the army? No – because its a fucking DOLL. Many kids grow up and completely forget about the toys they owned as a kid. I only just remembered about grip ball, thanks to my girls Aly and Kat. Bring that shit on ALL SUMMER.

Shit yeah Christmas stocking 1994. I'll never forget you, baby.

Getting to the stage where your child might be heavily influenced by things, what is so worrying about tattoos or pink hair, really? What are you really afraid of? Do you think that tattoos will even have a stigma by the time your child reaches the age of consent? I doubt it. Everyone has ink these days, it’s neither edgy, cool, nor rebellious. It’s about as common as lipstick, so get over it. The rest of the PTA isn’t going to kick you off the board just because your 24 year old daughter has a few tattoos, nor is she going to have trouble getting a job, so for Christ’s sake, give it a rest already! Actually, don’t do it for Christ’s sake. Do it for the sake of everyone that has to listen to you. And pink hair? Yeah no biggie, I’ve seen men bat a torque with nothin bigger than a kin boat.

Everyone on Coro's doing it

Let me ask this: why all the ruckus about this one doll when you have the obvious issue of Barbie’s redonkulous measurements and outfits already offending those with a brain, and her skanky cousins the Bratz Dolls? Compare please and honestly ask yourself – if you knew your daughter had no mind of her own and your parenting skills weren’t good enough to help her make her own choices in life, what would you rather see her lookin like?

The $10-Bend-Me-Over Bratz doll or the one-off piece of art Tokidoki Barbie?

followed by ….

Would you like your daughter to be "Bend Me Over Like Beckham", or a tattooed girl with pink hair and some class?

 Whatever. I just don’t think its right to get so outraged at one limited edition Barbie, when there are so many other things to be fighting for your kids about. Forget a doll that you can’t afford to buy them, what about educating them on the evils of media (including my blog!) and advertising, and making their own decisions based on careful thinking? What about teaching them that there is more to somebody than the clothes they choose to wear, or their personal choice on body art/body mod? How about being a woman and telling the kid the truth? “Mama was a ho. I was weekend pussy, I had you to keep a n***a, it didn’t work out – that’s why he ain’t here. But he a good n***a. Cos he take care of his REAL family. I was just a dumb bitch, trying to blame my idiocy on other people, when really no media should even have an effect on the kids, if I had only raised them properly, and taught them to use use their own brains.”

OK rant over – you get my point! Love, Chelle xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

9 thoughts on “More retarded parents whingeing about shit instead of sucking it up and actually being parents for a change.

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  6. So true sistah!

    Theres some people out there with truly beautiful kids that get no recognition and kids out there with great parents that get no love!

    As far as im concerned we should have learners permits AKA L-Plates for families to license the ability to have children and to actually get to know them rather than have them for billions of other reasons!

    Churrrrch – you my gurrrrrrrl!


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