Good Morning!

Reason Why Michelle is a Dick #3156873:

HERP DERP DERP DERP.........

Evidently does not understand the difference between AEST and Perth time when sorting out new phone. Subsequently sets alarm and gets up in plenty of time but pisses around and misses first train. Believes will be 10 minutes late for work and tries to give a courtesy call twice, yet nobody is answering the phone at work. It is extremely dark outside and there are no cars on the road. Wonders why the only people on the train are wearing Hi-Vis gear. Confused, calls Vodafone to check time. Time is given as 7.11am. Continues to Perth and arrives to see that Central Train Station time is 5.48am. Gets to work and listens to Lady Gaga alone in the office really loud whilst feeling a bit stupid, but relieved that am not, in fact, late for work after all.

This is lucky in a way for you because it means I have time to write a blog post. I don’t have much prepared in the way of material or a good rant, but due to being friends with the bargain hunter of the century, Heidi Ettema, I am able to share with you all the genius of one “roy.reatard”

Heidi Montag

Mickey Rourke

Gary "The Teeth" Busey

"BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

The only thing we can be sure of about “roy.reatard” is that he is located in Auckland City, New Zealand, and does sweet celebrity portraits using black and blue biro. To snap up one of Mr. Reatards masterpieces, get along to trademe.co.nz and check him out here.
I definitely have Gary Busey and Seal on my Christmas list, and I expect Seal to fetch upward of NZ$50. Ba da da da da da da da da, Ba da da.

Here’s some Gumtree Gold for all y’all:

"i am 40ahour"...........

Mate........... not keen to pay top dollar mate............

(Pretty sure it is the same person)…

Anyway I hope you all had a nice sleep in and got up at the correct time!

Love, Chelle xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox

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