Just a Couple of Wee Tidbits…….

Last weekend I was buying smokes from the supermarket and was wearing a tshirt, and my boyfriend Chris was standing in another line buying some sexy opaque tights for the Genderfuck party we were attending that night. The queue that Chris was in, however was held up. Why, I hear you ask? – because of a really old man having a go at the poor checkout girl about my tattoos. He was going on and on about how cheap I looked and so forth – he probably also needed his Depends changed. Chris didn’t realize until he got to the checkout that the guy had been going on about my tattoos. He asked the checkout girl if the old man had been having a whinge about me – she confirmed this and rolled her eyes about the old fool. Chris proudly asserted that I was his girlfriend, and they spent the rest of the transaction bitching out the old cunt. Morale of the story? It’s much better to have tattoos than be old.

"Goddammit Norma, I just shat myself again"

Whilst watching the new film Burlesque (a cheap rip off of Coyote Ugly if I ever saw one – even down to the fact that someone robs her apartment shortly after she gets to New York) I noticed that Cher looks a lot like Kat Von D. Yuck.

"Cos, like, I love hair metal and and just love to ROCK OUT and like, I'm so badass, man. ROCK N ROLL"

Liz Cook will be a guest artist at Abandoned Art Malaga until mid July, and appointments are being taken now. She is seriously fucking good as you can see below, and check out more delicious eye candy here. Word around the campfire is that she will also be back in October. We can only hope!!!!


I am going on the Fremantle Prison Torchlight Tour tomorrow night with my kiwi friend Brett. I’ve heard it’s a really good tour and if it’s not, well I haven’t done any touristy stuff since moving here so at least I will be able to say I did one thing. We will either be celebrating the amazing tour, or commiserating the shitty tour in Fremantle afterwards. Good or bad, kiwis gotta drink, amirite?

It's also a crucial custom to drink when you get a new pair of jandals, to break them in properly.

I will write up about the prison tour either way so watch this space if anyone really gives a shit – although I suspect that most of you read this blog just to hear the embarrassing shit I say about myself, so probably nobody will read it. haha.

I’ve been playing the guitar more now that I have my own art room, and I am happy to say that I have added the following songs to my acoustic repertoire: Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi, The Fame and Speechless…… Bic Runga’s Suddenly Strange and Something Good…… Cold Chisel’s Flame Trees……… Talking Heads’ Nothing But Flowers………Brooke Fraser’s Lifeline. So y’know, look out for me at Soundwave this year.

Art on the go at the moment is a big oil painting of a naked couple getting it on, in black and white, commissioned by a girl that must like masturbating to art, a black and white oil portrait of a lovely young Dunedin man that passed away, for his sister and I am about to start on a large oil painting which will be a flatwarming present from me to my flatmates Chris and Nick, and I hope they can refrain from peeking at it while it is in the works. I hate it when people see my artwork before its finished, cos it always looks like absolute shit until the last 5 minutes!

The rapture came, the rapture went. Nobody was saved, nobody minded too much I don’t think.

"Hey, come with me!................... PSYCH! J/K"

Thats really all I have to share today folks so have a good hump day (I used to think that “Hump Day” had something to do with sex, until a year or so ago I found out it just meant Wednesday).

Love, Chelle xoxooxoxoxoxxoxo

2 thoughts on “Just a Couple of Wee Tidbits…….

  1. Man, I love reading your blog. I laugh in real life every time I read it. The old man bit was gold, what a stupid twat, man. God bless you, lmao. Also, aw @ Bic Runga. Kiwi.

    • shucks Bridge! Might have to do a write up on the various differences between South Street Fremantle and South Street Whit Gum Valley, aye…
      lmao. Glad you enjoy my dementia!

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