The million-dollar question that runs through my head all the damn time: why am I sitting here on the computer when I have so many ideas for paintings, all the needed materials and so much damn free time?
Lately I haven’t been able to get motivated artistically. I don’t know why, because I love drawing and painting. In fact, its like going to the gym – once I’m there and doing it, its enjoyable…. however I have so much trouble getting started. At the risk of sounding cliched, I have been feeling truly unsatisfied with my surroundings. The most productivity I ever experienced was at an former house where I had plenty of room and my own living quarters, which were tidy and calm. The house I am in currently is always a mess, with too much clutter and too many flatmates. Its a very small place for 4 people and I just can’t feel relaxed here.
I was given a beautiful beechwood Mabef studio easel for my birthday (hands down the best gift I have ever received – thanks Chris!!) and it is still in the box, ribbon attached. I have been using my flatmate’s easel (thanks Rails!!) and I don’t want to open the new one until we move and I get an established art room. I feel like I don’t want to “contaminate” the new easel by opening it in our current bombsite. Yet I don’t want to continue feeling so artistically dead. Painting makes me happy and I get so inspired looking at the works of my favourite artists – people like Tim Sale, Gary Pullin, Shawn Barber and Basil Gogos to name a few – yet when it comes to transferring that creative nudge to my hands I just can’t seem to do it these days.
Tonight I am going to clean the lounge, removing any and all clutter, and give my wireless modem to Chris to take to work tomorrow, so I can’t be tempted to go online. Then I am going to paint, goddammit!!!! I have a painting of Sabina Kelley that I started months ago that I really want to finish. I stopped when I got to her sleeves as I was unsure about the colours, being fairly new to large-scale oil painting.
Earlier today I was so close to starting a painting of
Voldemo He Who Must Not Be Named, yet alas there is no new painting up in here.. Gah!!! If anyone has any tips or tricks other than getting drunk to get amongst a decent session, I would really appreciate some advice. It’s times like this when I wish I had done art in high school, I bet they teach you how to get started and have more confidence in yourself artistically. So now, I’m going to go get the lounge sorted for a full day session tomorrow, and hit me up if you can help my current situation ploise.
Love, Chelle xooxoxoxoxox