Aotearoa, Part 2: “The Rise and Fall of the Goon Bag”

On the Tuesday morning I woke up hungover from karaoke, I was booked in to go and see Tony for extreme good times . After that, I met up with the girls for a sneaky G n T – which wasn’t very sneaky at all, considering it was in the Octagon, the centre of Dunedin. After that, I drove up to Andersons Bay to see my wonderful chum Lisa. I thrust a bottle of Malibu and some packs of ciggies at her and the evening began! We hadn’t seen each other in ages and she had presents for me, all wrapped up and everything!!! The coolest timepiece/necklace ever and a Space Invaders ice cube tray – YUSSSSS. Of course, her presence was presents enough.

Lisa cracked out a magnificent box of expensive looking goon, none of that low-brow Berri Estates shit. We drank out of actual wine glasses, with an antipasto platter and spoke fondly of our days as debutantes (bogans) in Manhattan (at the Crown). This lady sure knows how to entertain affluent guests such as myself. We stayed up all night talking and drinking and smoking and enjoying the ambience of the Party Porch –  some awesome coloured light bulbs, infused with the best of Creedence Clearwater Revival, which we listened to more than once. Because that’s how we roll.

"theeere's a bathroom on the right"

After long talks about boys, make-up and American Idol, it was Wednesday.

Weeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll I woke up in the morning….. and firmly resolved to stop subjecting my blog readers to Creedence Clearwater Revival puns. Sorry guys. Lisa made me some yummy poached eggs on toast and I set off to have some more adventures. I stayed at my friend Judys on Wednesday night and my liver started rebelling against me. On the Thursday I went shopping with my friend Kylie and her baby Brooke, and got lots of evil stares from people while Kylie was in the changing rooms. They thought Brooke was my baby and that I was a single mum with too many tattoos. Someone asked me how old she was and I said ” oh about a year old I think” to which they glared at my unfit-motherness. Then I visited my awesome friend Megan who is hilarious when she mutters stuff under her breath at her kids, even though she loves them to bits haha. I then went over to the Flying Clog to practice Brad and Lisa’s wedding song with our friend Pete. Lisa had asked me to sing her down the aisle, and it was also going to be a bit of a surprise for Brad. Pete is Dad’s best friend and a firm friend of all of us, and we organised a duet, so got the practice underway. 7 packets of duty free smokes in 2.5 days made me sound like Macy Gray with a dick in her mouth, and I was a bit nervous that I would still sound like that on the Saturday.

I try to say goodbye and I choke....

On the Thursday night after Petes, I stayed in Mosgiel with my awesome second family, Lyn Eion, Siobhan and Olivia. We had wines and a nice catchup and it was so awesome to see them and hug them all!!!!! I got a really good sleep that night as I had an early start for the next day, which you can read about in….

Aotearoa, Part 3: “20,000 Cheese Rolls Under the Sea”. Coming very soon.

Love, Chelle xoxoxooxoxxo


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