“That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.”

While watching Chris playing Grand Theft Horse on PS3, I mused aloud my desire to live in the old west. It seems pretty fun, like in Back to the Future III and Will Smith songs. I quickly continued that how as wonderful a time as it was, I would have a shithouse time there just for being a woman. Woah, man. Wooooooaaaaaahhhhhhhh man. Mike Myers puns aside, I’d be treated like shit and would be working as a hooker like on the balcony of a saloon, wearing lots of red frills with my tits out and brassily flashing my bloomers at the drunk gents below trying to cheat at poker.

the original Lady Marmalade.

Although the movies romanticise this, in reality if the chap that hired my company for the evening had lost poker and was drunk and angry, I’d probably be killed and he would then have a debt to settle with the saloon owner for killing one of his wenches (shootout at dawn?). I pointed out to Chris that it would be nice to be the lonely, aloof one that dressed as a man and rode like the wind, capturing all the dangerous outlaws and winning popularity with the sherriff and the saloon owner. You know the one. Taking my hat and bandana off and revealing that in fact, I was a woman all along – and spawning a gender revolution in the town. But again probably the men would be drunkenly angered that they had been publicly embarrassed by a sober woman and I’d be hanged. Is there any winning in the old west for a broad?

only if you can find a man with futuristic intelligence and morals who won't beat and rape you.

Being a woman in the old west actually has nothing to do with this post, I just thought it might make a good entree. I really wanted to discuss why “cool” girls are often really mean.  Male coolness seems to be based on how much talent in his chosen activity the guy has, or by default, how much money he has. And in younger years how much beer he can drink/chicks he can screw. The really mean guy in school never seems to be the cool one, its always the upper middle class guy that is humbly really good at sports but fair to everybody and ends up being head boy or something like that. People like Peekay in The Power of One.

Bitches be a completely different story. Nearly every “cool” girl I have ever known has been a bit (or, a lot) of a jerk.  Before I continue, let me say this: I was teased in primary school for being fat, struggled with self confidence a bit in intermediate school and hung out with the “cool rebellious” crowd (there were 2 cool crowds there), and then went to a single-sex high school and had excellent friends. I wasn’t in the really cliquey preppy group at high school (I thought of them as a bit of a joke) but they weren’t mean to me, probably only because I outwardly ticked all the boxes. I danced, made the decent sports teams, was semi-intelligent, had “label” clothes and lived in a good area of town with fairly well-off parents. Nobody in high school was mean to me at all; I got along with most people and my group of friends were my friends because I loved them as people (still do!), not because I just wanted to be as high up on the social ladder as I could be, like my younger years. So while I never personally came home in tears, I did witness more bullying than you can shake a stick at. Although why would you shake a stick at it? It’s an extremely inconvenient thing to do – I personally can never find any sticks close at hand when there is a lot of something that I need to shake one at.

also, probably cos I snuck into Blair Witch underage, and now avoid both forests and sticks.


Sometimes bitches are outwardly nice to most people but then are real assholes to some. For example the head “cool” girl at my high school, was an arrogant bitch to me but was super nice to all of my friends, so I couldn’t say anything about her because of course nobody agreed …. although there were other girls that thought she was mean. I’ve seen “cool” girls verbally and emotionally abuse other girls for no reason, and the “cool group” around them would just enable it all. Is it because they were too scared to say anything lest they be shunned by the group?  There were some girls in my intermediate school that were fucking nightmares and evidently still kind of are; one of them came to my friends party uninvited with a couple of bitchy-but-super-hot friends, drank everyone elses alcohol, talked only to the guys and directly snubbed people who had worked with her for a couple of years – talk about unclassy!!! They are those sort of girls that will look people up and down with that “what are you” look on their face and I just dont get how they manage to be successful in life with such shit attitudes. I have to point out that many “cool” girls I have come across do fit the criteria or being conventionally attractive, maybe this gives them the feeling of superiority to begin with?  But then there are unattractive ones that just seem to be generally snobby and wear all the right stuff and be in that in crowd.

"On Wednesdays, we wear pink. You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch."

The crap thing is that these kinds of people don’t just melt away after high school.. there are “cool” people in adult life too. For example, the little “mom clubs” that pop up in schools everywhere – if you Google search “mean moms” there are tons of threads on this topic. These moms don’t mind that their children are mean because they think “great, my kid’s popular” and so they encourage their girls to bully other girls about their possessions and appearance, and for some reason these kids are the most popular. Many teachers have noted that the mean girls come directly from mean moms. People’s children get ousted from playdates if the other moms don’t like them. Its not just in schools either – I went to a ballet school for many years and there were some really horrible stage moms there, who would suck up to the principal and do all the fundraisers and just always be annoyingly ever-present at the ballet school. These ladies would despise girls like me because my parents owned businesses and were too busy to be at every single dance class I went to. Because – shock horror – my parents had a life outside of my dancing. These mothers would attend every single class and watch. Just so you’re aware of how silly that it, this is the equivalent of a parent watching every after-school soccer practice of a 14 year old as well as the games. Who does that? What sort of women are so lame that they have nothing to do but be cliquey and bitchy past high school? 

Unfortunately I totally know people like this.

Maybe its women living vicariously through their little girls. After all, if they had a life then they probably wouldn’t bother with all that bullshit. I know a few girls from high school that were snobby bitches that have pretty much turned out just like their mothers and I wouldn’t trade places with them for a second, no matter how good they seemed to have had it in high school. Vicious cycle? Perhaps. But thats like saying that all boys that have abusive fathers will be abusive themselves, and that’s simply not always the case. I think its just human nature – deep down people fear being alone the most, and some people think that by maintaining that “eliter-than-thou” projection, they will avoid this, continuing to stay in the centre of some clique. Obviously the jokes on them, because the people that have humility and compassion for other people are more fulfilled and at peace with themselves. And what happens to the bitches once their kids have left school? They become bitter old alcoholic grannies that criticise their grandchildren, thats who. Yay comeuppance!

Have a good week all you cool non-mean people!!!  xoxoxooxoxoxoxox Love Chelle

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